SUPERMOM

How can you describe a mother?
You know they were the best mom in the world but yet you feel they made so many mistakes. We expect our mother to be perfect whatever our version of perfect may be. Could you imagine just how many personalities your mother would have had to have just to live up to your expectations of what a mother should be. And those expectations live on through out our lives and into our own Supermom visions. Why do we expect women to be capable of super human multi tasking?

Is it because only women can have the amazing feeling of pregnancy and birth? Does the fact that we can give birth make us seem special or super powerd?

My mother was and still is an amazing perfect yet flawed mother. And I never felt that way when I was young nor did I tell her that. I believe it usually happens this way if you believed your mom was a saint growing up as you get older you realize that she never lover your father or she was having an affair or you may find she regretted having you. You made her feel tied down or ruined her life in general. Or perhaps you pittied her all your life because of the things she had to live with and then as you grow older realize that she did control and could have stopped most of it. In any case our perfect vision of our mother is completly shattered. So why do we expect so much.


Our fathers have it easy in most cases we seem to forgive them much easier then we forgive our mothers. My father left when I was 3 and I blamed my mother for years. Why I honestly still do not know. I saw him a few times and he even came back once for a few months. He called me once in september of 2006 I was 22 and finally I had the courage to tell him everything I thought of him. He died a month and a half later.


But like I often do I am getting side tracked from the real story here. Mothers they are mistreated and misunderstood and we don't give it much thought if any until we have children of our own and need to talk to them. These mothers we found so incapable as children now as mothers we seek out their wisdom. Why? Because until you become a mother you have no idea and no right to Judge them. Now don't get me wrong there are many mothers and fathers who have no right and no reason to ask for respect. But the ones who deserve it rarely get it.


When you have a baby it is a death and new life sentance in a way. It is the death of a couple and a birth of a family. It is a time to put someone else's life befor your own. Even something as simple as going for a ride can become agony to pack for. A trip to the grocery store a nightmare. I made my husband do most of the shopping the first year of Joshua's life because I was affraid of becomming "One of those parents" you know what I mean you hear them everytime you go to a store. The parents of the child that is breaking the sound barrier because he was told NO!


This image haunted me. Millions of questions began to fill my head as soon as the reality of being pregnant began to set in. Where do I stand on punishment, bedtimes, acceptable language. How old should they be befor they date, go trick-or-treating alone, listen to Parental Advisery music, or am I against it. How short should I let her wear her skirts, How long befor I let her wear make-up. Let them decide on their style, their hair. Will I let they dye their hair. How old should they be befor we talk to them about sex, drugs, smoking, drinking. These and millions of other questions filled my mind. And I thought to myself what have I gotten into and how will I ever get through it. There is never one right way, although everyone seems to think their way is the only option.


My goal in motherhood is to strive to be half as good as My Mother. I still have a long way to go but I am trying not to listen to the little voices in my head that tell me I should be supermom. The only advice I can give is this, You will be given advice by everyone but just listen to your heart you will know what to do.


Hey mabey you will even be Supermom.